1) I'm still alive.

B) No, sorry, 2) You're not going to see me on MSN for a while. Don't worry, I'm fine. Just...not wanting to lately.

3 or C) I dreamt last night. It was raining bucketloads and all I could hear was a song.

James Morrison - Broken Strings.

Also, I found The Script - Break Even on YouTube and nearly cried.

Please help if you can.

http://community.livejournal.com/openpaws/579673.html#cutid1

My name is Liz. I'm sixteen and I'm living with my boyfriend, his mother and step-father because my mother hit me and I finally had the courage to leave.

For the past few months, since before I moved here, I've been going through a massive identity crisis. Since I was three I've had a projection of myself, like an imaginary friend, keeping my company. He has a completely seperate mind to me and it's like he's an entirely different person. I treat him as though he is. Between the ages of ten and fourteen I had another mind in this body. Sometimes she would control this body and I could only watch, as though a film. Sometimes I couldn't even remember what this body had been doing for the past hours, sometimes even days. I think she was the controller then. We communicated. We just...thought to each other. I was never alone, never lonely and never bored because of her. When she disappeared, I felt lost and alone.
Even the projected other mind is only intermittent now, joining with me occasionally. My boyfriend knows about him, but not about the female one. He thinks I'm schiztophrenic, and lovingly accepts me for it.

But...even though I have him, and I'm physically alone for the first time in over a week, I've been feeling lost, lonely and alone lately. And I don't know why. I'll often find myself thinking thoughts nothing like my own, or feeling emotions completely inappropriate to the situation. Sometimes an event or conversation will enter my mind, as though I'm remembering something I didn't do. I'll think I've opened the window, or read a book I haven't, or that I have a pet gerbil even though I never have.

I find myself perfectly understanding certain people, usually with certain mindsets. My sense of empathy is enormous, even if I've never felt what someone else has I find myself feeling it as they are.

I'm not sure what I am. I used to refer to myself as "this one" becuase I think of myself as just one of many, one body shared by at least three people. I still sometimes call myself "this one" when I'm not thinking, and it freaks my boyfriend out.

Am I schiztophrenic? Do I have headmates? Am I a part of a community of shared minds? I need answers, and this seems the place to find them. I've always thought of myself as otherkin, some kind of feline/canine hybrid, probably maned wolf/leopard. Now I'm not so certain.

Yes.

P.S. Shortest post ever.

When I was five years old, I cracked my head open on a cabinet in the living room because I'd tripped over Sally's tug-toy. I was bleeding, dizzy and sick from the smell of blood but kind of...numb. They had to put Humpty Dumpty together again and I think it may have done some kind of long-term brain damage, but I can't be certain if maybe I'm just this weird anyway.

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about the things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

I love Panic at the Disco. I also love ABBA.

Chris hates Panic at the Disco because they're Emo.

So when I'm listening to I Write Sins Not Tradgedies, what does he do?

He turns it off and starts singing Dancing Queen. He dances with me, twirls me around and then scoops me up and sits me on his lap, rocking me gently back and forth. Still Singing.

I'm not going to deny it: sometimes he just makes me melt.

I love it when he sings.

I'm pretty sure it was Jono...
So yes.

I hear your whispers surrounded in silence
Blue vibration
I hear the waves singing in the distance
Pure isolation
I smile into the distance far away from you
We're in resolution
Dreaming, touching, breathing side by side,
Dive into the sky.

Let's get away, fly away
I've found the path to paradise
Shining spiral of gold
Take my hand, find our way out
Heavenly stars above
Just believe what's in your heart
No border between us
I can always feel you inside
Wherever we are...

I see you, feel you, I am your creation
Everlasting affection
Life's an endless spiral going round
Yes, we are in love!

Let's get away, fly away
I've found the path to paradise
Shining spiral of gold
Take my hand, find out way out
Heavenly stars above
Just believe what's in your heart
No border between us
I can always feel you inside
Wherever we are...

Let's get away, fly away
I'm feeling raindrops on my face
Sun shines through the clouds and
Rainbow all around us
I spread my wings, fly away
The wind sweeps me off my feet
Blowing me away, yeah
Trees whispering to me

I'm feeling free now

Let's get away, fly away
I've found the path to paradise
Shining spiral of gold
Take my hand, find out way out
Heavenly stars above
Just believe what's in your heart
No border between us
Nothing can divide us
Wherever we are...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL2od1AF_Cs

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions?
Yep! ^_^

2) Who's the last person you slept in a bed with?
Chris. *Nods*

3) How is your life right now?
All over the place, some good, some bad.

4) Was your last relationship a mistake?
...

5) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Chris.

6) Do you regret it?
Hell No!

7) Have you ever been depressed?
Oh yes.

8) Are you a boy or girl?
Last time I checked, Professor Rowan, I was a girl.
Yes, I am sure.

9) What is your relationship status?
Fantastic. XD

11) What did you last eat?
Banana.

12) Play any sports?
Archery FTW!

13) Do you bite your nails?
No. I paint them black.

15) Do you have an attitude?
That's questionable...

16) Do you like someone?
Like in what sense?

17) What is your real name?
Elizabeth Barbara Barton. *Shudders* Gotta go change that...

18) Out of the following, which do you have most of: faith, strength, hope, wisdom?
Erm.
Pass.

19) Are you gonna get high later?
No.

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
...Maybe.

21) Do you miss someone?
*Le sigh*

23) What's your favorite type of meat?
Absent. I'm a vegetarian.

24) Have any pet?
Well, I have two cats at my mother's house and then there's a sort-of cat that comes here for food and affection. We call it the Whore Cat.

25) How exactly are you feeling?
Content.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Srsly. Who hasn't?

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
Erm...yes.

28) Brothers or sisters?
One sister.

29) Are you scared of spiders?
Not at all!

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Oh, come on, this is Liz the Emo we're talking about here!
Anyway, who doesn't?

32) What's the nicest thing someone has said to you lately?
*Giggles* Trust me on this: You. Don't. Want. To. Know.

33) Do you want to have kids?
... '_'

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose first name starts with A or S?
...Mmmno.

36) Do you have piercings?
Yes, on both ear lobes.

37) Want any more?
Erm...nah.

38) Can you spell well?
W-E-L-L. DUH!
Yes. Yes I can. My spelling is fantastic.

39) Would you like it if someone had a crush on you right now?
Someone does. So, yes.

40) What are you craving right now?
A hug from the guy five feet behind me playing Fallout 3.

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
No. I want to go to one that involves driftwood, though.

42) What is something you want to accomplish in the next month or two?
Mental stablility.

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Yes and I dearly hope to do so again.

44) Kissed someone in the past 24 hours? If so, who?
Yes and...well, just take a wild guess.

46) Do you have a secret you've never told your best friend?
Yes. Yes I do.

48) What's your favorite thing to do?
Singular? That's too restricting for my liking!

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
*Bursts into hysterics* I AM!

50) What should you be doing?
Ironing. Vacuuming. Tidying this bedroom...

51) What’s irritating you right now?
This cough.

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Yes.

53) Does somebody love you?
Absolutely.

54) What is your favorite color?
Blue, black, grey and any and all neons.

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Not that I recall...

58) What are you doing right now?
This meme, FB and a lot of thinking.

59) Do you have any talents?
Erm...Archery? Drawing? L33t?

60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Fuck no.

61) What are you listening to now?
The Cruxshadows - Winter Born

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
....

63) Have you ever cried in front of your best friend?
Not that I'm aware of.

64) Where is somewhere you want to visit that you've never been before?
Yes. Australia.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Elephants never forget. That's why they drink.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
I think so...

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
I'm not sure?

69) Who was your last text from?
Hold on...*gets phone* Urgh. My mother.

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Read volume two of Megatokyo.

73) What jewelry do you wear every day?
A ribbon around my neck with a gold cat bell on it and a digital watch with the phases of the moon.

74) What did your last text in your outbox say?
"Happy Birthday!" I sent that to Zobe whilst standing right next to him just to be ironic. Because I love irony.

75) Do you play the Wii?
Not any more, because it's at my mother's house...

76) Do you like chinese food?
Yes :D

77) Are you listening to music right now?
Yes.

78) Do you know your father's birthday?
No.

79) Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Nu'-uh.

81) Are you mean?
I can be.

82) Would you kiss any of your top friends?
...Probably not.

83) Do you have a couch in your bedroom?
No. But I do have a bed, two computer chairs and an awesome chair especially for Xbox 360.

84) Do you believe in true love?
Yes. Yes I do.

85) Do you work?
No, but I should.

86) What's your least favorite part of your day?
The part where I do something wrong.

87) What song describes your life right now?
Possibly Genki Rockets - Heavenly Star http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL2od1AF_Cs which I will lyricspam after this post.

88) What was the last thing to make you laugh?
My boyfriend, who is nibbling my hair as I type this.

89) Are you currently bored?
Im doing this aren't it?

90) Do you wanna get married?
Maybe.

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
No, it's demeaning.

92) Are you hungry?
Nope.

94) What makes you happy?
Happy music, Doctor Who and...yes, I'm going there...Chris.

95) Where is your number 1?
Number one what?

96) Ever been to Alaska?
Anyope.

97) Can you access Facebook on your phone?
No. I have a six-year-old Nokia.

98) Do you watch the news?
Rarely.

99) What’s your zodiac sign?
Western = Libra.
Eastern = Ram.

100) Do you like Subway?.
Meh.

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed again?
Hell no.

102) If you wrote a secret message to someone specific, would they know it's for them?
Depends on what I wrote, isn't it?

103) Do you talk like your friends?
Sometimes.

104) Who do you wish you could talk to right now?
Do celebrities count?

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Hell yes.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Pfft, yes.

107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
[Obvious pattern]Chris[/pattern]

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yes. Hell yes it does.

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
*le sigh* Just guess.

110) Favorite lyrics right now?
Heavenly Star? Thank you, Sam, for introducing me to Genki Rockets.

111) Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait?
I really hope so.

I was going to post the Portal song, but that's overused.

Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

I'm not using my FA account, either. I'm a bit of a lurker...


Right. I decided to make a sprite of Perry, then realised that my scratching skills aren't that good. So, I decided to make a Pokésona of her. Mightyena seemed like an obvious choice, so I worked from there.

The necessary colours were added and then it got difficult. I had to cut the mane short and scratch in some fluff at the end, along with a smooth rump (harder than you'd think)and a slightly fluffier tail with a black tip. The ears were harder than I expected and I'm still not happy with them but, after adding the underbelly and white muzzle, I surprised myself by actually liking my own work, even if I couldn't get the bangles and gave up on them.

Well, that's three hours of my life I'm never getting back.

http://zobe.deviantart.com/ Is awesome. He's in my college art department, would you believe it, in the room right next to my base room. He's a blue-tongued lizard hybrid and co-authors http://dontkillthemessenger.smackjeeves.com/

Just thought I'd make a quick post about Zobe because a) his artwork deserves to be seen and b) he's just awesome.

You've already seen Reine, my alt; well, here's the proper one. This is Persephone, unimaginatively named but all the same my fursona. http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m265/Sergeant_Angua/Drawings/Perry.png

Yes, I know she's the most average-looking fur ever, and even though she doesn't look it, she's a hybrid. I seem to be gradually furaffying my LJ, code and all. XD

NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, FUCKING NO!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vJlfASH0EOk
No, guys. Just no. You just don't do things like that! Fucking idiot! NO.

</minirant>

Thirty questions about one female character from a fandom. I translated this from a Japanese meme, although I took a little bit of liberty with the questions I didn't understand. I'm pretty sure I got the general meaning, though.

ｎｏ.1　Who is your favourite female character?
Alice Cullen, believe it or not.

ｎｏ.2　What made you love that character?
She's such a brilliant friend. She knows when to back off and when Bella needs pushing. She has such charisma...you don't need Jasper with Bella around! She can lighten the mood of any room just by dancing in and saying hello!

ｎｏ.3　What color fits her image?
Pink. Sakura pink.

ｎｏ.4　What fruit is she like?
Cherries. Sweet and innocent, at least on the surface.

ｎｏ.5　What style of clothing would she wear?
That depends. If she didn't need practicality, pretty dresses with lace on them...

ｎｏ.6　What would she shout in a moment of triumph?
"I knew it!"

ｎｏ.7　What is she is bad at?
...Receiving surprises?

ｎｏ.8　Where would she most like to go on a trip?
Somewhere full of activity and fun things to do.

ｎｏ.9　What would she like somebody to cook for her?
I don't really know. Cake? :P

ｎｏ.10　What would she cook for herself?
Something sophisticated, probably Spanish.

*Has to go nao. Will finish tomorrow.*

ｎｏ.11　What song best suits her?

ｎｏ.12 What season is she most like?

ｎｏ.13　What is her favourite thing to drink?

ｎｏ.14　What is her favourite thing to eat?

ｎｏ.15　What flower suits her?

ｎｏ.16　What shampoo does she use?

ｎｏ.17　What kind of commercial would she be in?

ｎｏ.18　What kind of drama would she be in and what role would she play?

ｎｏ.19　When she is feeling down, what would she say?

ｎｏ.20　When she is feeling down, what would you WANT her to say?

ｎｏ.21　 What is she doing on New Year's Day?

ｎｏ.22　Within her series, who is her rival?

ｎｏ.23 Within her series, who is she closest to?

ｎｏ.24　Within her series, who is she the LEAST closest to?

ｎｏ.25　What was her greatest moment?

ｎｏ.26　What is your favourite line?

ｎｏ.27　What do you love most about her?

ｎｏ.28　What do you expect her to do with her life after the series?

ｎｏ.29 Describe her in one word.

ｎｏ.30　Is there anything else you would like to say about her?

Doctor Who

Ten(nant) = Ravenclaw for geniusness
Rose Tyler = Gryffindor for courage and loyalty
Martha Jones = Ravenclaw for being brilliant
Donna Noble = Gryffindor for having the guts to slap the Doctor.
Captain Jack Harkness = Gryffinclaw?
Leela = Erm. Gryffindor...
Sarah Jane Smith = Ravenclaw!
Romanadvoratnrelundar II = Ravenclaw again. I don't need to tell you why.
Jamie = Hufflepuff.
Ace = Gryffindor. Definately. Ace rocks.
Simm!Master = Slytherin for meglomania.
Ainley!Master = Ravenclaw for sheer brilliance.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bitch+goddess << Click it. You know you want to. XD

Doing this one twice.

Think of a fandom.
Remember that there are four houses in Hogwarts - Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Hufflepuff.
Now list 12 characters from that fandom.
Place each character in a house.

Twilight

Bella Cullen (Unless I'm specifically referring to pre-BD Bella, she'll always be a Cullen.) = Gryffindor for courage.
Edward Cullen = Gryffindor for loyalty and bravery parallelled only by a certain pup. ;)
Alice Cullen = Ravenclaw, because that's the only place for someone who knows the questions to every test before it's even been written.
Emmet Cullen = Gryffindor. Is there anything he is - or should be - scared of?
Jasper "hot shit" Hale* = Hufflepuff because he's so amazingly good at not killing Bella.
Rosalie "Blondie" Hale = Slytherin for general power-hungryness.
Carlile Cullen = Hufflepuff. Was there ever a harder worker than His Carlileness himself?
Esme Cullen = Erm. Gryffindor for loyalty.
Jacob Black = Gryffindor. Where else could I put someone with such brilliant courage and loyalty?
Charlie Swan = Ravenclaw. He's really clever, if you think about it.
Seth Clearwater = Ravenclaw. More intelligent than he gets credit for.
Leah Clearwater = Slytherin. Srsly. Power-thirsty much?

__________
*See here: http://badwolfx.livejournal.com/30044.html